Golf, likely due to its inherently difficulties, seems to cause its victims to develop and nurture a truly unique sense of humor. At times, that humor is the only fallback we have after enduring a particularly humiliating round. Aspiring golfers don't have years of needling and golf humor to fall back on, so feel free to use some of the following in your next round.
Slow Play:
"That guy in front of us is half a hole behind the group he's in", or "please keep up with the
group you're in".
"Is the same day rule in effect?" (Must complete the round the same day you start it).
"Dude has two speeds: Slow, and stop".
Golfing Ability:
When out-driving a playing partner by a significant distance, ask "Hey Bob, did you hear
about the new WalMart they're building?" Bob naively asks, "Where?", and you reply
Between my ball and yours".
Old, but good, is when an opponent leaves a putt 3+ feet from the hole, say "There's a lot
of chicken left on that bone".
On the occasion of someone's truly bad shot, utter "That's not that bad of a shot, unless
you care what you shoot".
Tell an opponent over your six footer to win the hole that "We're just wasting daylight by
making me putt this". I highly recommend that if you say that to make the putt.
Glossary:
College girlfriend: Short and Fat
Oral Roberts: Heeler
Billy Martin: Dead Yank
Shovel Pass, Pitchout, Chinese Hook, El Hosel: Shank
Nurse: Beverage Cart Girl
Scoring Fluid, Aiming Fluid: Beverages dispensed by nurse.
Oscar Brown, Orville Butler: Out of bounds.
Idiot mark: Ball imprint on the crown of a driver caused by popping one up.
For more golf humor, I defer to the king, David Feherty. If you truly have a sick and twisted, golf oriented sense of humor, read his book "A Nasty Bit of Rough". Funniest thing I've ever read. Ever.
Play hard, laugh loudly, and press often.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Tiger Yanged
Pithy title, but hey, it was a long weekend.
Well, it finally happened. The best player in the history of golf succumbed to an opponent that outplayed him. Yes, I said outplayed him. Only thing is that opponent wasn't named Els, Mickelson, Singh, Harrington, or one of the other dozen or so best of the rest.
You may say that, well, Tiger didn't make any putts, but neither did Yang. Well, Yang got lucky on 10, but so did Tiger. I really thought when Yang hit his 40 foot birdie putt on 17 only 30 feet that Tiger would make him pay for blinking, but not today. Bottom line is Asian Dude hoisted a hybrid over a tree from 200+ on 18 with a one shot lead trying to hold off You Know Who, and stuffed it. How is it that this little known one-time tour winner succeeded in staring down Tiger when few if any have before?
Dr. Rotella asks us what comes first, success or confidence? Obviously, the answer is confidence, because if you wait for success to come first it will be a long, lonely wait. Clearly for Yang, he CHOSE to be confident, and seemingly struck nearly every shot today (excepting a few putts) fully believing he would pull it off.
I am neither glad that Tiger lost, nor sad that Yang won. I simply have been waiting for someone to do something other than blow a gasket down the stretch in a Major when paired with Tiger, and see how Tiger would respond. By all accounts, he responded well, but couldn't get critical putts to fall. The shoe is clearly on the other foot in that matter, as we are so used to seeing Tiger being the one that applies the pressure and his victims' putts go awry.
Much will be written about Yang, specifically about the unusual move he makes in the downswing. Props to the crew at CBS that very accurately identified how unusually open his shoulders are at impact. Hard to believe he can be that accurate in that position, but it just goes to show that a swing doesn't have to be perfect to produce great results.
Likely, there is only one person in this world who believed that today would end as it did, and from what I saw that belief did not waiver one bit all day. With all the extremely talented players that Tiger had reduced to quivering piles of Jello, you gotta believe that he was surprised when Yang kept hitting great shots deep into the back nine.
With all great athletes, it will be very interesting to see how Tiger responds.
Might be an interesting rematch in the President's Cup!?
Fairways and Greens.
Well, it finally happened. The best player in the history of golf succumbed to an opponent that outplayed him. Yes, I said outplayed him. Only thing is that opponent wasn't named Els, Mickelson, Singh, Harrington, or one of the other dozen or so best of the rest.
You may say that, well, Tiger didn't make any putts, but neither did Yang. Well, Yang got lucky on 10, but so did Tiger. I really thought when Yang hit his 40 foot birdie putt on 17 only 30 feet that Tiger would make him pay for blinking, but not today. Bottom line is Asian Dude hoisted a hybrid over a tree from 200+ on 18 with a one shot lead trying to hold off You Know Who, and stuffed it. How is it that this little known one-time tour winner succeeded in staring down Tiger when few if any have before?
Dr. Rotella asks us what comes first, success or confidence? Obviously, the answer is confidence, because if you wait for success to come first it will be a long, lonely wait. Clearly for Yang, he CHOSE to be confident, and seemingly struck nearly every shot today (excepting a few putts) fully believing he would pull it off.
I am neither glad that Tiger lost, nor sad that Yang won. I simply have been waiting for someone to do something other than blow a gasket down the stretch in a Major when paired with Tiger, and see how Tiger would respond. By all accounts, he responded well, but couldn't get critical putts to fall. The shoe is clearly on the other foot in that matter, as we are so used to seeing Tiger being the one that applies the pressure and his victims' putts go awry.
Much will be written about Yang, specifically about the unusual move he makes in the downswing. Props to the crew at CBS that very accurately identified how unusually open his shoulders are at impact. Hard to believe he can be that accurate in that position, but it just goes to show that a swing doesn't have to be perfect to produce great results.
Likely, there is only one person in this world who believed that today would end as it did, and from what I saw that belief did not waiver one bit all day. With all the extremely talented players that Tiger had reduced to quivering piles of Jello, you gotta believe that he was surprised when Yang kept hitting great shots deep into the back nine.
With all great athletes, it will be very interesting to see how Tiger responds.
Might be an interesting rematch in the President's Cup!?
Fairways and Greens.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Golf is Fun?
Well, certainly it should be! Personally, fun is not the reason that I play golf. I'm extremely competitive on the course, and I'm motivated by attempting to pummel everyone else on the course that day. If I accomplish that feat, no doubt it will be fun, but that is not what drives me. I do wish that I could play golf for fun more often, but if I'm looking for fun I will likely not be on the golf course.
The average golfer (if there is such a beast) that is not in the business of golf does want to have fun while golfing, but that's where a central problem in the game is found. All things considered, a day on the links will take six hours (including travel, warmup, 19th hole, etc.) and will involve expense.
That time spent on the course is time that we are either not working, or not with our families. All that considered, you're now on the course, ready to have fun, and then you struggle through the round and are extremely frustrated at the end of the day. If that describes your last few rounds, you've probably asked yourself if it is worth it.
We love the idea of golf, like being outside on a nice course, and we want to be with friends, to enjoying our chosen leisure activity. The problem is that our chosen leisure activity in many cases is harder and causes more frustration than our career or family situation! GOLF IS HARD! Nearly every golfer has said "I'm either going to get better or quit", myself included.
I chose to work harder on my game, focus tighter on what was necessary to make improvement, and get stronger mentally.
If you're overly frustrated you'll eventually either give up, or you will commit to improve knowing that it will be hard and take time. If you choose the latter, Someday is Today!
Lower your expectations, and raise your commitment.
The average golfer (if there is such a beast) that is not in the business of golf does want to have fun while golfing, but that's where a central problem in the game is found. All things considered, a day on the links will take six hours (including travel, warmup, 19th hole, etc.) and will involve expense.
That time spent on the course is time that we are either not working, or not with our families. All that considered, you're now on the course, ready to have fun, and then you struggle through the round and are extremely frustrated at the end of the day. If that describes your last few rounds, you've probably asked yourself if it is worth it.
We love the idea of golf, like being outside on a nice course, and we want to be with friends, to enjoying our chosen leisure activity. The problem is that our chosen leisure activity in many cases is harder and causes more frustration than our career or family situation! GOLF IS HARD! Nearly every golfer has said "I'm either going to get better or quit", myself included.
I chose to work harder on my game, focus tighter on what was necessary to make improvement, and get stronger mentally.
If you're overly frustrated you'll eventually either give up, or you will commit to improve knowing that it will be hard and take time. If you choose the latter, Someday is Today!
Lower your expectations, and raise your commitment.
Monday, August 10, 2009
PGA Cancelled, Trophy and Check to Woods
All right, I guess we should go ahead and play the PGA, but it sure seems that we could eliminate a lot time and expense by just handing it to Tiger. Funny thing, though, that every time I think its a done deal that he's going to win, he doesn't. Harrington put up a good fight, as expected, but quite butcher job on 16. Hazeltine should be fun.
During the Buick last week, I swear that I heard a television golf announcer identify the source of Tiger's power as left shoulder lowering at the start of the downswing then raising straight back up quickly through impact. Immediately, I could hear 20 handicappers around the country get off the couch and rehearse the shoulder dip (Charles Barkley come to mind?). True, Tiger's shoulder does dip and then raise, but that is completely effect, not cause. Might have something to do with his ability to retain hinge, leg drive, shoulder rotation and tilt. Raising and lowering the left shoulder is inconsequential.
These TV knuckleheads (especially that one) need to be right about what rabbit holes they send the golfing public down before laying an egg like that one. I think the 'Tour Gurus' have lost their sense of cause and effect by working with the best players in the world. How hard is it to teach people with that level of talent? My peers and I teach in the real world, with real people, ranging from very little to decent athletic ability.
Get help in the real world, and be careful about where you're getting your swing advice!
During the Buick last week, I swear that I heard a television golf announcer identify the source of Tiger's power as left shoulder lowering at the start of the downswing then raising straight back up quickly through impact. Immediately, I could hear 20 handicappers around the country get off the couch and rehearse the shoulder dip (Charles Barkley come to mind?). True, Tiger's shoulder does dip and then raise, but that is completely effect, not cause. Might have something to do with his ability to retain hinge, leg drive, shoulder rotation and tilt. Raising and lowering the left shoulder is inconsequential.
These TV knuckleheads (especially that one) need to be right about what rabbit holes they send the golfing public down before laying an egg like that one. I think the 'Tour Gurus' have lost their sense of cause and effect by working with the best players in the world. How hard is it to teach people with that level of talent? My peers and I teach in the real world, with real people, ranging from very little to decent athletic ability.
Get help in the real world, and be careful about where you're getting your swing advice!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
GolfTEC in Oklahoma
Welcome!
I write this as Tiger has just completed the first five holes in the Bridgestone WGC in four under. I would say it's unbelievable, but we've come to expect that from him. It will be interesting to see if Paddy can bounce back-- wouldn't surprise me if he did, and hope he does.
I've maintained for a while that with all the physical talent Tiger has, that what separates him from the other top players (by a wide margin), is his clearly superior mental toughness. Like Nicklaus, he is a ruthless competitor that is able to impart his will on lesser beings. He know he's the best, and he knows that the other guys know he's the best. It is almost like he starts out on Sunday with a three stroke advantage, regardless of what the scoreboard says.
We use a lot of video of tour players in our instruction, and personally I show less of Tiger's swing than most want to see. He does things in his swing that I would not want the average golfer to try to emulate. That said, his lower body position to the top of the backswing is the best, as there is little change in knee flex and zero hip sway. If you want to copy something from Tiger, make it his putting stroke. I believe it is the best I've ever seen, and by no coincidence he makes more putts under pressure than anyone else (again, much like Nicklaus, with better mechanics).
This is my first post, and I'll be back in a day or two to sort out the final result.
Fairways and Greens,
Pat McTigue, PGA
I write this as Tiger has just completed the first five holes in the Bridgestone WGC in four under. I would say it's unbelievable, but we've come to expect that from him. It will be interesting to see if Paddy can bounce back-- wouldn't surprise me if he did, and hope he does.
I've maintained for a while that with all the physical talent Tiger has, that what separates him from the other top players (by a wide margin), is his clearly superior mental toughness. Like Nicklaus, he is a ruthless competitor that is able to impart his will on lesser beings. He know he's the best, and he knows that the other guys know he's the best. It is almost like he starts out on Sunday with a three stroke advantage, regardless of what the scoreboard says.
We use a lot of video of tour players in our instruction, and personally I show less of Tiger's swing than most want to see. He does things in his swing that I would not want the average golfer to try to emulate. That said, his lower body position to the top of the backswing is the best, as there is little change in knee flex and zero hip sway. If you want to copy something from Tiger, make it his putting stroke. I believe it is the best I've ever seen, and by no coincidence he makes more putts under pressure than anyone else (again, much like Nicklaus, with better mechanics).
This is my first post, and I'll be back in a day or two to sort out the final result.
Fairways and Greens,
Pat McTigue, PGA
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